Once Upon A Time, Long Ago, Far, Far Away
by sunburntdaisy
Summary: mg-sl. In episode 3.03 (don't ask, don't tell) Susan 'accidentally' invites Mark on holiday with her. They then get all befuddled trying to figure out whether she meant it 'like that' or if he wanted her to mean it 'like that' and then she ends up backing
1. be my yoko ono

In episode 3.03 (don't ask, don't tell) Susan 'accidentally' invites Mark on holiday with her. They then get all befuddled trying to figure out whether she meant it 'like that' or if he wanted her to mean it 'like that' and then she ends up backing out leaving on her own. silly chook. see, if Mark had gone then i'm sure it would have been a slightly different story...  
  
(on ER Susan actually doesn't get to Maui, she's afraid of flying and goes to Phoenix, sees Suzie and co. and decides to move there... just a little bit of trivia that might make this make more sense.)  
  
---  
  
Theme song: Free Falling (Tom Petty)  
  
---  
  
Susan found him in the lounge nursing a not-so-appealing mug of hot coffee. "Hey, I'm sorry about before, I didn't mean anything by it, I just…" Susan wasn't sure what she 'just…'  
  
"No, don't worry about it. I don't need to go." Mark shook his head. He wanted to go.  
  
"I mean, you can if you want, I just…" again, no idea.  
  
Mark shrugged.  
  
She could see how awkward this was for him. "Either way." She tried to sound careless, "I mean, you're more than welcome but, whatever." She didn't mean to sound that careless.  
  
Mark smiled, 'go for it' Doug had said. He has resolved to be spontaneous. Here was his chance. "I'll see if I can get the time off."  
  
She nodded, unable to suppress a smile. She hoped he'd come. There was something so sad about holidaying on your own.  
  
---  
  
"Good news." Mark slammed a chart down on the bench beside her.  
  
She jumped and looked at him, eyebrows raised.  
  
He grinned, "I can come."  
  
She grinned right back. "Excellent."  
  
"So they'll have spare seats on the plane right?"  
  
"Yeah, I'm going via Phoenix, but you can meet me in Maui if you like."  
  
"Na, I'll tag along. Plus I know how you feel about flying, you'd never show."  
  
"I wouldn't stand you up." She tried to look back to the chart, she just wanted to finish it and go home. Then she could go to bed and then she would soon wake up and then she'd be going on holiday. To Maui. With Mark…   
  
"Good to know. When are you finished?"  
  
"Ten minutes ago." She slipped the chart onto the pile and turned to him, "So, I'll see you tomorrow?"  
  
"What time's your flight?"  
  
"9 am. Sorry." She grinned. "What time do you finish?"  
  
"Midnight, not so bad."  
  
"Okay, well have a good shift." She backed away. This was going to be an interesting holiday.  
  
---  
  
Susan had her eyes shut, jaw clenched, hands tightly gripping the armrests, head leant back on the head rest.  
  
"You're missing the view." Mark laughed at her.  
  
"No I'm not." She spoke through her teeth.  
  
"Well in that case we're swapping seats." He playfully flicked off his belt then hers.  
  
"Hey!" she opened her eyes.  
  
"Come on, if you're not looking out the window then I will."  
  
She rolled her eyes and got up, squeezing past him.  
  
"Excuse me the seatbelt light is on." A flight attendant strode toward them.  
  
"Sorry," they mumbled, quickly sitting and doing up their belts.  
  
"Please remain seated until the seatbelt light is off." The flight attendant walked away.  
  
"Check it out." Mark's eyes were scanning the city below them.  
  
"I thought we swapped seats so I didn't have to." She tried to relax.  
  
He laughed and took her hand, "You're fine."  
  
"mm-hm." She agreed unconvincingly.  
  
"You don't know what you're missing."  
  
"Yup, thoughts of plummeting to my death, I'll watch the sunrise from the ground in Hawaii, I can miss this."  
  
Mark considered this for a moment, "Okay, fair argument."  
  
"The pilot has not turned off the fasten-seatbelt light however, please keep your seatbelt on while seated." An emotionless voice filled the cabin.  
  
"Hey, you used to live there."  
  
"Yup." Okay, now you have to distract her, he told himself, it's not a long flight – just to Arizona. What, six, seven hours of conversation. Possibly not the most charming prospect if he'd been with anyone else, but with Susan… "I'll show you all my old haunts."  
  
"Sounds good." She'd opened her eyes and almost controlled her breathing.  
  
"In the meantime we just have to keep your mind off the flying thing."  
  
"Peanuts?" the flight attendant was back again.  
  
---  
  
"Okay, next question."  
  
She hardly stopped laughing.  
  
Mark read from a magazine, "What would you do if you planned a surprise romantic night in and he came home with a truck-load of beer and football buddies? A – smile sweetly and quickly clear the candles, offering your dinner-for-two as snacks? B – take a few lines right out of Ricki Lake, click your fingers at him and get rid of the lot of them? C – join the party, romance is overrated? Or D – Take him aside and play little-miss-naughty until he wants his mates to leave." Mark laughed.  
  
"D." she answered almost too quickly. "You?"  
  
Mark laughed for a while. "Girls don't bring home beer and football buddies."  
  
"You sure?"  
  
He was thrown off for a moment then laughed with her.  
  
"Please put your seatbacks and tray tables in their upright and locked position. Fasten seatbelts for landing."  
  
Susan stopped laughing and took a deep controlled breath. That was a quick six hours. Which was good, cause she hated to fly. But bad, cause landing was the worst bit – the closest she ever came to plummeting to her death.  
  
"You're fine." Mark smiled at her reassuringly and tightened his seatbelt with one hand, taking hers with the other.  
  
She smiled in appreciation.  
  
"What are you going to do for your flight rotation?"  
  
"I'm trying not to think about it." she squeezed his hand as the plane hit a spot of minor turbulence.  
  
He tried to ignore the fierce desire to protect her, which was ridiculous because what she feared was safe. There really was nothing to be afraid of. And yet here he was almost afraid for her. He had to get over this – she just wanted his friendship – she'd made that fairly clear as she awkwardly tried to explain her invitation to Maui. He leant back in his seat – now he was the one trying to relax… think happy thoughts… not those kind of happy thoughts… her hand is really soft… NOT those kind of happy thoughts… but she doesn't mind you holding her hand… that's cause she thinks she's about to plummet to her death, you could probably kiss her and get away with it right now… NOT those kind of happy thoughts! He opened his eyes. Susan was squinting.  
  
"You okay?"  
  
She nodded, "Just my ears."  
  
He let go of her hand to find a stick of gum in his bag, which was awkwardly tucked under the seat in front of him.  
  
"What are you doing?"  
  
He found the gum right on cue. "Ta-da." He handed it to her. "It might help."  
  
"Worth the try." She unwrapped it and slipped it between her teeth, chewing hungrily, hoping her ears would unblock.  
  
It sort of worked.  
  
Then the plane hit more turbulence and she forgot about her ears. She grabbed Mark's hand. "Why the hell are we doing this?"  
  
"Desperate need for a holiday." He took her hand in both of his, "Susan, look at me."  
  
She pried her eyes open and did what he said. She was taking deep controlled breaths through her open lips.  
  
Damn, he wanted to kiss her. He forced himself not to look at her lips. Go for the eyes. Not a huge improvement but still… "We're okay." He held those eyes tight.  
  
She nodded as her breathing calmed a bit.  
  
"Just think about the beach, lying in the sun," his voice sing-songed a bit and she couldn't help but smile. Why couldn't there be more men like this? Oh there probably were, but she had to fall for her best friend. Just to make life difficult. He wasn't over Jenn… well maybe; he'd shown symptoms of moving on. But still, she couldn't bear to be a rebound thing. She was in this one too deep as it was. She tore her eyes away from his and noticed the pain in her ears again. So far… great holiday.  
  
Turbulence hit again and she inadvertently squeezed Mark's hand. He squeezed it back, sitting back in his seat. There was nothing he could do. She'd calmed for a moment, or so it seemed, but now she was gripping the chair and his hand with white knuckles. Kind of like how women always crush the guy's hand when they're giving birth. He almost laughed at the thought.  
  
---  
  
"That wasn't so bad." Susan stood up to get her hand luggage from the overhead locker.  
  
Mark just laughed at her.  
  
"Take my word on it. It's been worse." She looked at him seriously.  
  
"Oh." He still laughed, pulling out his bag as they joined the throng of people in the aisle. "So, are Joe and Chloe meeting us?"  
  
"No, I gave her this book and it said something about getting babies into a routine is healthy or something. Anyway, I told them we'd take a cab."  
  
He nodded, "Do you think they'll mind my barging in?"  
  
"Our turn." Susan grinned cheekily. He looked worried so she changed her tune, "Don't worry, they'll be fine. Plus we're only here for one night."  
  
He nodded.  
  
"I can't wait to see Suzie."  
  
He smiled. He couldn't wait to see Susan with Suzie – her whole face lit up. He loved to see her that happy. And if Suzie was what it took to make her that happy… well as long as Susan didn't think about leaving. A nagging voice told him he wanted her to be happy, even if he wasn't there to see it. He didn't want to think about it. She wouldn't leave Chicago.  
  
---  
  
"The couch is fine." Mark insisted. He was talking to Joe but his eyes kept flitting across the room to Susan. She was bouncing Suzie up and down in her arms, smiling then laughing, smiling again. Mark smiled watching her.  
  
"I didn't realize you two were… y'know." Joe followed his eyes.  
  
"Oh, we're not."  
  
"Oh, sorry."  
  
Mark shook his head. There was no need to apologise.  
  
"Why not?" Joe teased.  
  
Mark tore his eyes of Susan. Not this again. They'd had enough torrid affairs. "We're just friends." He answered lamely.  
  
Joe laughed. "Hey, chlo, give us a hand." They pair took off into the hallway.  
  
Mark knew they were being set up but he didn't mind. He crossed the room. "She's happy."  
  
"She is." Susan agreed without looking at him.  
  
"Are you?"  
  
Susan nodded but still didn't look at him.  
  
Suzie laughed and Susan's serious face turned into a smile.  
  
Mark let his eyes linger on her – she was so beautiful. She looked up at him and caught him off guard.  
  
"What?"  
  
He shook his head, excusing his stare, "can I hold her?"  
  
Susan carefully put Suzie in Mark's arms, all too aware of every of his warmth through his sweater as she pulled her hands away. Damn, that's attractive. Damn, indeed. Now, wasn't that just happiness in a shoebox? Her Suzie and Her Mark. This she liked. She didn't want to leave. What was keeping her in Chicago anyway?  
  
No, she didn't want to leave. No. Cause half of the reason she was grinning so ridiculously right now was usually in Chicago. And Suzie… not hers anyway. Even if she was here everyday Suzie was still Chloe's girl. If only Chicago weren't so damn far away.  
  
---  
  
Mark wiped soapy water off a plastic bowl and put it on a dry patch of bench. He didn't know where it went. Neither did Susan. She was washing. She'd sent Joe and Chloe to bed; they'd pay their bed&breakfast by dishes. Suzie was asleep. The little portable stereo by the phone was playing a savage garden tape. Something about cherry cola. Good song. 'Ooh, I want you I don't know if I need you. Ooh I'd die to find out…' Susan fished in the murky for the cutlery at the bottom of the sink.  
  
"Thank you for coming." She'd wanted to say it all day. It seemed odd. But what a relief to get it out of her system?  
  
He laughed at her – just a little. "Thank you for inviting me."  
  
"Yeah, sorry about the mix up – it's just people kept saying things about us. I didn't mean it like that, I just didn't realize how it sounded until afterwards."  
  
He smiled at her, ignoring her all-to-clear message that she only wanted his friendship. "It's okay. Who cares what people say anyway? We'll have fun. We'll show them photos, revenge." He opened his eyes wide and not a little crazily.  
  
Susan pulled the plug out, squeezing out the dishcloth over the bubbles left in the sink as it drained. "Sounds like a plan. Oh, and thank you for helping me not freak out on the plane."  
  
"Yeah, whose hand would you have grabbed if I hadn't been there?"  
  
She laughed. She'd grabbed his hand because she had a good excuse to do it. But he didn't need to know that.  
  
"So does it get better – like each flight is easier or something?" he asked hopefully, they were, after all, flying to Hawaii tomorrow.  
  
She laughed, "I hope so."  
  
"You don't fly much I gather."  
  
"Not if I can avoid it."  
  
"Well, I promise Hawaii will be worth it." He put the last dry dish on the bench.  
  
"I know. Maybe you could slip something in my drink – I could sleep through the whole thing. Or at least the take off and landing."  
  
"You'll be fine. I'll read you stupid quizzes. I wonder if they serve mai-tais on the plane. That could be the trick."  
  
She laughed.  
  
His laugh turned into a yawn.  
  
She thought for a moment before asking, "Did you finish at twelve last night?"  
  
He nodded not-so-convincingly.  
  
"Go to bed – you're going to need your energy to force tranquilizers down my throat tomorrow."  
  
He laughed. "Okay. Are we done?" he put the tea towel on the bench. He'd rolled it up into a ball, fidgeting.  
  
"Yeah. I'll see you tomorrow." Susan smiled and went to the spare bed in Suzie's room. She didn't turn on the light. Not that Suzie would wake, but she didn't need it. She changed quickly and slid into the cool sheets. It was going to be a good holiday. She'd probably make a total idiot of herself tomorrow but Mark had seen it before. Still, it'd be nice if he were pleasantly surprised, for a change.  
  
Mark cocooned himself in blankets on the couch. He wouldn't have believed he'd ever be here. Partly because he'd had even less faith in Chloe than Suzie so sleeping on her couch seemed highly unlikely. Sleeping on her couch while she and Joe slept upstairs and Suzie and Susan slept in the next room, everyone healthy and happy was impressive. And he was going to HAWAII. With SUSAN. Tomorrow. This could be great. As long as I just manage not to give away that I'm in love with her, it'll be great, he told himself sleepily. It can't be that hard? He wasn't convinced. Hawaii was one of those places that aimed right at couples. This holiday would be full of moments that were way too easy to pretend… 


	2. iv got a crush on you

Theme song: I've Got a Crush on You (Frank Sinatra) – yeah, okay, listen to it before you think that I'm the most cheesy hopeless-romantic on the fanfiction market.  
  
---  
  
"Okay, no quizzes. Don't panic." He grinned at her, flicking hopelessly through the in-flight magazine.  
  
She wasn't laughing.  
  
He was. "Okay, I'll make one up."  
  
"I'm not promising I'll answer anything."  
  
"Ah well, it's worth the try."  
  
"They should have more free alcohol on domestic flights."  
  
He laughed, "Okay, question 1 – oh I can't think of anything as bad as yesterday."  
  
"Definitely going to need alcohol." She was gripping the armrests and her knuckles were white.  
  
Mark was forced back into his seat as the plane took off. He would have enjoyed the view more if Susan hadn't been quietly hyperventilating beside him. "Okay, other than this obviously, what is your greatest fear?" Get her mind off it. Probably could have picked a better question…  
  
"That's not a fun question."  
  
"Okay, I'll try again. First kiss?"  
  
She laughed but didn't answer.  
  
"Well?"  
  
"Jack Bertram. Twelve. You?"  
  
"Fifteen." He coughed  
  
She laughed. Second time since the plane started moving. Not bad.  
  
"Go on, tell us the whole story." She had relaxed a bit, this could be interesting.  
  
"Puppy love, what can I say?"  
  
Susan raised her eyebrows, telling him to continue.  
  
"She had a crush on my best mate, but he'd kissed lots of girls and she wanted practice. Broke my heart."  
  
"Happens to the best of us." She held her hand to her chest dramatically.  
  
Mark laughed, trying to ignore how stunning she looked. As usual. "So what's your sad story?"  
  
"Oh, well after Jack," she laughed, "Actually I didn't do the puppy love thing. Infatuation? Sure. But love… Not till college probably. But even then, it was pretty pathetic. I dunno, I guess if that's all it is I'm a disappointed romantic." She offered a wry smile.  
  
"Well, in my meager experience, it's not disappointing… well, not at first. I guess love can be the worst thing in the world when it goes wrong but if it's good, then it's great." He shrugged, pretty much sure he wasn't making sense.  
  
"Yeah, I guess anything that's worth anything costs something."  
  
"Profound." He teased.  
  
"The pilot has turned off the fasten-seatbelt light however, please keep your seatbelt on while seated." The flight attendant interrupted.  
  
Susan took a deep breath. "Now's the easy bit."  
  
"So now that you're not freaking out, what is your greatest fear?" he ventured.  
  
She thought about it. Personal question. Very. But this was Mark, hardly a stranger. Greatest fear? Losing Suzie… Suzie was fine. "Probably being alone." She laughed at herself trying to cover how uncomfortable she felt, "Now that's pathetic."  
  
"Not it's not." He shook his head, touched by her honesty. "I was going to say mine was failure, but I think you're right. Being alone would be worse. Like, totally alone. I mean, some people you can do without, but others, you just don't want to think about it…"  
  
"Like who?"  
  
He shrugged again, "I dunno, lots of people, like Doug and you and… oh, I dunno." He looked out the window so she couldn't see his eyes.  
  
She was touched and smiled at his shyness as he looked away. "Thank you." She wanted him to look at her. So much for getting over him.  
  
He grinned at her, half wishing he'd kept his mouth shut, half glad that he'd said something – like letting out some steam so the truth wouldn't boil over and explode everywhere. He wanted to kiss her again. And again. Damn it…  
  
"Your turn to think up a question." He hoped she'd take his mind off it.  
  
"Okay." She leant back into her chair. "Absolute highlight of parenting?"  
  
"I'm assuming you mean after consummation." He teased and got the playful though a little painful, slap he deserved right across his chest.  
  
Stop flirting, she silently reprimanded herself though she laughed.  
  
"Well I'm sure it's the cliché, but that first moment is breathtaking. And, I dunno… I love watching Rachel sleep. No matter how bad things get if she is happy when she's sleeping then I know I haven't failed completely."  
  
Susan nodded. "Do you see her much?"  
  
He shook his head. "Na, but it's my fault. If I made the effort… it's just that I feel like I'm intruding at Jenn's and organizing to have her always creates problems."  
  
"And you like to keep the peace?"  
  
He nodded. "Peace isn't all its cracked up to be I guess, but still…"  
  
She smiled, "I think you do okay. I mean of course it's going to be difficult, but Rachel can't doubt you love her. You're a good dad."  
  
He nodded in acknowledgement.  
  
She knew he didn't really believe her but she didn't know what else to say. She took a deep breath, "My questions are worse than yours. How about… okay, what is the funniest thing you've ever seen?"  
  
A slow smile came over his face as he remembered. He laughed as he started, "My mates trying to steal one of their dad's car. They had this whole elaborate plan to roll it out of the driveway and down the road before starting it. Then they jumped in…"  
  
She interrupted, "They? Don't you mean we? I know you were the leader of the pack."  
  
"Hardly!"  
  
"Sure." She rolled her eyes.  
  
"Okay, WE jumped in the car and Jem starts it up and then half a block later the engine explodes and everyone on the whole street comes out to see what's going on. Including the dad who owned the car. We were doing his yard-work for weeks."  
  
"Grand Theft Auto. Go Mark. I didn't know you had it in you."  
  
"Okay, miss innocent, What's your criminal history?"  
  
She laughed, "Aside from jay-walking and smoking in non-smoking areas?"  
  
"Other than that."  
  
She thought for a moment, then a slightly embarrassed smile came over her face, she covered her eyes, resting an elbow on the armrest, not on his side. "You're not going to believe it."  
  
"Ooh, this is good." He grinned.  
  
She rolled her head back and didn't look at him, "Public exposure."  
  
He cracked up laughing, "What did you 'expose'?"  
  
She tried not to laugh, "Oh, just the usual." She shook her head. "I was drunk, young, stupid."  
  
"All the usual excuses."  
  
"Yup, just thank God I threw my shirt into the crowd AFTER I crowd surfed."  
  
He was laughing so hard it hurt.  
  
She sat back in her chair waiting for him to stop, shaking her head, not sure if she should have told him.  
  
Then he looked up at her and started again.  
  
"You're never going to be able to look at me the same again are you?"  
  
"No." he shook his head. "So did they arrest you?"  
  
"Almost. They gave me a shirt instead and drove me home. Dad was NOT impressed."  
  
Mark started laughing again.  
  
"You're trying to imagine the look on his face aren't you?"  
  
Mark nodded, stopping laughing. "And I thought I knew you."  
  
"That's not me. You know me. That was alcohol and stress and teen rebellion or something."  
  
"How old were you?"  
  
"Eighteen. Okay, enough about me. What's your most stupid, embarrassing moment?"  
  
"Oh, not nearly interesting enough to compete with that."  
  
"Cop out." She shook her head, holding his eyes. She wasn't backing down that easily.  
  
His eyes drifted to her lips. He forced himself to look away but she'd noticed and forgotten her question. Or had he asked her a question. What was going on? She should just kiss him, then she'd find out. Wonder how he'd react… not a safe train of thought really. "I might try and get some sleep." She leant back on her seat and shut her eyes.  
  
"Yeah." He did the same. What the hell had he been thinking? He hadn't been thinking. That was the problem. No doubt about it he was looking forward to this holiday but she wasn't getting any less captivating and he knew it would happen again. No matter how strong his resolve.  
  
---  
  
"Um, reservation for Lewis." Susan searched her bag for her credit card.  
  
"Lewis… right." The woman clicked away at a computer. "And guest?" she nodded at Mark.  
  
"Um, actually, I don't suppose you have any spare rooms." She asked.  
  
Mark smiled at her playful tone.  
  
"Sorry, all booked up this week. But we can have an extra bed put in yours if that would be preferable."  
  
Susan looked at Mark, hoping he wouldn't mind.  
  
Mark shrugged, only meeting Susan's eyes for a moment. "Can we split the bill?" he asked the woman on the other side of the desk.  
  
"Yeah, no problem." She took their respective credit cards. "You are in room fourteen. We'll have that bed made up as soon as possible. You can leave your bags with the concierge. And dinner is still available in the restaurant – until nine."  
  
"Thanks." Mark took back the cards and handed Susan hers. The concierge took their bags and they headed to the dining room in silence.  
  
"Sorry about that – I just assumed…" Susan began, pretending to look at the menu.  
  
"Don't worry about it." He smiled. "Really, I don't mind. We're both adults."  
  
She met his eyes, glad they weren't as awkward as they could be. Considering the comments from colleagues, the looks that lingered too long, the truths that kept slipping out… and now the room thing. "Thank you."  
  
He laughed. "Relax. The flying is over. You're on holiday." He took her hand impulsively. Then realised what he was doing and let go too quickly.  
  
"Yeah." She took a deep breath and stretched her neck. "I'm exhausted."  
  
"I'm not surprised."  
  
"Are you ready to order?" the waiter stopped at their table.  
  
"Ah, sure." Mark told him what he wanted.  
  
"Sounds good." Susan couldn't make up her mind.  
  
"Any drinks to start?"  
  
They ordered martinis and handed their menus to the departing penguin suit.  
  
"So, have you been here before?" Susan asked. She had to get the topic off them and onto something that wouldn't lead back to them, but this was all she could come up with.  
  
"No, I haven't been here for years. I was a kid when we left. So I can show you the baseball pitch and the best beach and the best tree to climb and maybe even a couple of caves and secluded bays, but…"  
  
"Sounds great. Hidden caves? We can go on adventures."  
  
"Hunt for treasure."  
  
"Yeah, unless you already found all of it."  
  
He laughed, "No, there wasn't anything there. Thoroughly disappointing. But then they might have been found by pirates since then and, you know, used as treasure troves."  
  
"Well it's worth the try. We might not have to go back to work after all." She grinned.  
  
"Oh, I hope you're not in emergency medicine for the money, cause I hate to break it to you, but it doesn't get a hell of a lot better."  
  
She laughed. "Plus, I'd never talk you out of going back. You're workaholic tendencies would jump into action and force you back on the plane."  
  
"Meanwhile your vertigo tendencies would jump into action and drag me off again."  
  
She laughed. This was good. They worked well without all the stupid sexual-tension-complications. But she couldn't seem to be able to ignore them, no matter how hard she tried. 


	3. i'll be there for you

Theme song: I'll Be There For You (Rembrandts) – yeah, it's the Friends theme…

* * *

Susan could feel her skin burning. But man was that a good feeling. Moving would be wise but it wasn't going to happen. She gave up reading and put the open book across her face to keep the sun off.  
  
"I didn't know you were shortsighted." Mark stood over her dripping.  
  
"Hey, you're blocking my sun."  
  
"You'll thank me for it later." He sat down. "As long as you're spit-roasting, you should turn over."  
  
"I know. I was thinking about it." she put the book back in her bag and rolled onto her side. "Nice swim?"  
  
"Beautiful." He lay back on the towel he'd just spread out beside her. "I'd recommend it."  
  
"Maybe later. I'm toasting nicely."  
  
He handed her the sun block, which she deposited in her bag without using.  
  
"You're crazy."  
  
"Na, I never burn."  
  
"Good for some." He leant over her to get the sun block back. "Sorry, blocking your sun." he sat back down.  
  
She hadn't minded at all…  
  
"Don't suppose you could do my back?"  
  
"Sure." She sat up and took the bottle. "So, once we're red and crispy, can we go exploring some of your old haunts?"  
  
"You're already red and crispy." He tried to ignore her hands on his shoulders, roaming over his back with electric heat.  
  
"This is true."  
  
"Well I'm keen." He swiveled back to face her as she finished.  
  
"Where are we going?"  
  
"It's a surprise."  
  
"So you haven't decided yet?"  
  
"How do you do that?" he picked up his towel, shaking the sand off it and into the wind which covered her in it.  
  
"Hey!"  
  
"Oh, sorry."  
  
She was laughing, "Don't worry." She tried to brush the sand off but it decided to stick stubbornly.  
  
"Oh, you're going to have to swim."  
  
"You might be right." She dropped her towel and looked at the waves. Be brave, she told herself. It had been a while since she'd swum in the sea. "Okay." She took a deep breath and took off toward the breakers.  
  
Mark dropped his towel and followed her, jogging past her into the shallows. "See, it's beautiful."  
  
"It's freezing." She was up to her knees and struggling.  
  
"It's all relative." He splashed her.  
  
"Hey!" she splashed him back but it was half-hearted and barely touched him.  
  
He grinned at her, holding his hands out beckoning, challenging.  
  
She shook her head.  
  
He stepped closer and threatened to splash her again so she dived away. She came up gasping but the edge had gone off the cold. It was refreshing.  
  
He was laughing at her, "That was too easy."  
  
"I had no idea you were so competitive." She rolled her eyes.  
  
"Whatever it takes." He swam over to her, flicking water in her face.  
  
"Oh no you don't." she shook her head and grabbed his shoulders trying to dunk him. He stopped her easily, picking her up despite her struggling. He held her legs together at the knees with one arm, the other wrapped around her shoulders, holding her arms to her sides. She tried to ignore how much she was enjoying his touch. I mean he was about to throw her into the water. Hardly romantic.  
  
But he didn't dunk her. He stopped just before her head went under and let go. He was playing with fire. This was ridiculous. He was setting himself up to accidentally say too much. The confession on his lips shocked him. "So, you ready to go?"  
  
She looked at him confused at the sudden change of tone.  
  
"Sure." She followed him, striding through the waves toward their towels.

* * *

"Check it out!" Susan ran her hand along the top of the cave, looking into the darkness as her eyes adjusted.  
  
"Yeah," Mark followed boldly but not so cautiously and whacked his head on the top.   
  
"You okay?" Susan turned to him.  
  
He was blinking and rubbing his forehead and nodding all at the same time.  
  
She smiled, "Let's see."  
  
There was a small graze along his hairline – not bleeding but the skin was broken. She blew on it then pulled back from the intimacy of her action. "Are you okay?"  
  
He just nodded, his skin tingling from her touch and her breath.  
  
"I'll patch you up when we get back eh?"  
  
He nodded, "Come on, I wonder how far this goes?" He took the lead, running his hand along the top of the cave so as not to hit his head again.  
  
She laughed at him and followed. "We're going on a bear hunt."  
  
"No bears in Hawaii. Sorry."  
  
"Okay, bats?"  
  
"I hope not." Mark turned back with a quirky grin, relieved that they could go on like nothing had happened, once again. It really was remarkable that he hadn't kissed her yet. They'd gotten ready for bed last night like an old married couple and then lay in bed and talked like teenagers. She'd looked hilarious with her hair every which way in the morning. He'd inadvertently smoothed one spike and kink as he reached past her to get his toothbrush in their tiny bathroom then apologized. But, damn, she smelt good. The warm and salty… and then some kind of mango shampoo really put the last nail in his coffin.  
  
"Can't see a thing." She laughed. "Maybe we should come back with a torch."  
  
Mark had a laser on his key ring – it didn't help much but the tiny red glow added an odd sort of ambiance.   
  
"That's just spooky." She stopped beside him trying to see ahead.  
  
He smiled at her. "Come on, let's get lunch and come back."  
  
She nodded and led the way out.

* * *

"Mark sit still." He stopped buttering his bread and let her get at his head.  
  
"Is it a mortal wound doctor?" he tried not to wince though he teased.  
  
She smoothed the edges of a small square patch. "I think you'll live." She sat on the chair beside him.  
  
"Good to know." He got back to his lunch with a goofy grin she found far-too-endearing. "So that treasure would be in the back of the cave right?"  
  
"I reckon so. Wouldn't it be hilarious if we actually found something?"  
  
"Like bones." He opened his eyes wide.  
  
She laughed. She would never have done this if she'd come on her own. She would still be on the beach, hungry and thirsty and crustacean-like. She took a long gulp of her orange juice and leant back on her chair happily. "I'm thinking an afternoon nap would be about idyllic right now."  
  
"Go for it. We can do the treasure hunt tomorrow – it's three o'clock."  
  
She nodded. "Okay. Night night." She lay on her stomach on her bed. "Thank you for coming." She said sleepily.  
  
Mark smiled and put away their lunch things then lay down on his bed and watched her sleep until he slept too.

* * *

"This is like something out of a movie." Susan let her eyes linger over the fairy lights strung above their heads then over to the beach where the sun was setting in true postcard style.  
  
"Yeah, it's stunning." He hadn't taken his eyes off her.  
  
She knew it and was trying to ignore the intensity. What did he want? If he wanted her why did he keep pulling away at the crucial moment? And if he didn't then why did that 'crucial moment' keep popping up? This whole pretending thing was getting exhausting.  
  
Mark scraped the sauce off his plate, licking his fork. "I know it's bad manners but this is good."  
  
"Go for it." she smiled taking a sip of the deep red wine. It was almost creamy caramel but not that sweet. She sighed contentedly. "I was thinking…"  
  
"Yeah?"  
  
"Shock horror." She jested.  
  
"What were you thinking?" he smiled.  
  
"Just about… oh you know, things. Like," she took a deep breath, "Like if you hadn't come then I probably wouldn't have left Phoenix."  
  
"Sure you would, you're braver than you let on. Plus I'm sure the stranger beside you on the plane wouldn't mind you grabbing his hand."  
  
She laughed, "That's not why, I mean that's part of it… but you know how… well it's just there's not a lot for me in Chicago anymore. You know what it was like when I had Suzie – like I suddenly had something to, well it sounds sad, but something to live for. Like someone I could really pour myself into. I'm not the kind of person who can live for work alone, you know?"  
  
He nodded. "That's a good thing." He feared what was coming.  
  
"Yeah, well, the thing is, I was thinking," she exhaled, "I mean moving is such a huge thing and I don't want to rush into it, but what's really keeping me in Chicago?"  
  
He nodded. He understood what she meant. But he was terrified to speak – encouraging her, like he wanted to do because he truly wanted her to be happy, would be encouraging her to leave Chicago. He didn't want to think about it.  
  
"Suzie doesn't need me like she did before, and I know that, but its nice to be needed like that and… I just don't want to miss anything, you know? I mean, she was like my own when Chloe left. And its better now I guess, but I… I want to see her grow up."  
  
"I know what you mean."  
  
Of course. Rachel. "Yeah, I guess you do. Suzie's not even mine."  
  
"No, but you're willing to throw everything aside for her – that's admirable."  
  
She took a deep breath, "I was thinking about what you said on the plane – about how some people you can live without and others, you just don't want to think about it."  
  
"Yeah?"  
  
"Yeah – and its not as if there's entirely nothing for me in Chicago. I don't want to leave. I just…"  
  
"You want to be happy."  
  
"Yeah. What's the secret?" she tried to laugh.  
  
"You're asking me?"  
  
She gave him a wry smile and took a deep breath. Maybe moving to Phoenix was a good idea. But right now she didn't want to think about it. "Want to dance?"  
  
"Sure." He got up from his seat and took her hand. She was wearing a thin cotton dress that made her impossible to ignore. Damn…  
  
"Should I go?" she asked quietly as they fell instep. She was trying to ignore the profound effect he had on her at this proximity but it wasn't working.  
  
"I can't tell you what to do." He wanted to keep his head clear – incase this precarious conversation slipped into the confession never far from his lips. But she was so close and so warm and soft. He couldn't help but adore her and his head was far from clear.  
  
"I know, but you are my friend and I value your opinion. What do you think?"  
  
He exhaled and stepped back to look at her. He swallowed before he spoke, "I don't want you to go anywhere," be careful Mark, "but if going to Phoenix makes you happy, then…" he exhaled again.  
  
She nodded and stepped into him so he couldn't see her face. This was dangerously intense. She wanted to tell him right then and there. The moment was perfect. She didn't want to ruin it but if she were considering leaving then she'd tell him the truth before she left. And now was as good a time as any… or not. She needed his friendship regardless of the rest of it, especially if she was leaving because he would be the hardest thing to leave behind.  
  
"Don't rush into it." Mark looked her in the eye as the song faded.  
  
"Yeah, I know." She smiled.  
  
The band piped up their own rendition of the beach boy's 'God only knows'. Susan grinned at the lyrics. How convenient?  
  
Mark laughed when he caught on, pulling her into a more playful dance, spinning her around and lip-synching. He wanted her to laugh.  
  
She did.  
  
He wished his heart would slow down a bit.  
  
But it wouldn't.  
  
The song ended and the band started 'somewhere over the rainbow'.  
  
"I love this song." Mark pulled her closer again. Maybe this would be the most he'd ever have of her but he was going to enjoy her while he could. She was getting dearer every moment but he was in too deep now anyway.  
  
"Me too." She held him close, cherishing the moment. Leaving was unthinkable at that moment. But she knew that when she was in her apartment alone she'd think differently. No. Don't think about it, she resolved to enjoy her holiday and leave the future for the future. Mark was singing along softly above her ear. She liked that.  
  
The band finished their segment and the couples parted, returning to their tables.  
  
"Do you want to walk back?" Mark asked. She was avoiding his eyes and he wished he could do something to put her mind at ease, whatever her decision. The thought of losing her was unbearable but to see her unhappy… that would be worse.  
  
She nodded, "Let's walk along the beach." She slipped her shoes off and carried them down the steps to the cool sand.  
  
Mark sat on the top step and undid his laces, put his socks in his shoes and carried them, jogging to catch her up.  
  
They walked in silence, enjoying the stars, the moonlight, the lapping waves, the company.  
  
"Sorry for putting a damper on the evening." Susan broke the silence.  
  
"No, I'd prefer you to tell me what you're really thinking than pretend everything's fine."  
  
She smiled at him gratefully, "Thank you. You're a real friend." She exhaled. "I would miss you." She bravely met his eyes, "A lot."  
  
He stopped walking. No, don't say it. He tried to smile. "What would keep you in Chicago?" he dreaded she'd say 'nothing'.  
  
She met his eyes without a clue what she'd say. She found something there that she wasn't ready for. Moonlight shone in his eyes, pleading for an answer and terrified of it at the same time.  
  
"I don't want to leave." She whispered.  
  
"So don't."  
  
She barely heard him. But she did and nodded once, ever so slightly. "I just want something to give everything for." She turned back to continue walking and he followed.  
  
"So fall in love." He offered like it was that easy.  
  
She smiled. "Just like that."  
  
"Why not?"  
  
"Oh, I don't know. You can't just make yourself fall in love. It's almost as hard as making yourself stop loving someone."  
  
"This is true." If only he could just stop loving her. If only it were that easy. He took a deep breath and tore his eyes from her.  
  
They turned up the beach toward their hotel.  
  
"Thank you for putting up with me." She tried to break the tension.  
  
He laughed and shook his head. "It was hardly a burden."  
  
"Thank you."  
  
"No, you've put up with worse from me, so…"  
  
She dropped her shoes outside the door and brushed the sand off her feet.  
  
"You want a hot drink?"  
  
"No, I think I'll just go to bed." She shook her head and her hair fell over her face.  
  
He reached out to put it behind her ear but she beat him to it. "Sorry." He dropped his hand to his side awkwardly.  
  
"Mark." She wanted him to look at her.  
  
He did. "Sorry, I just…"  
  
She shook her head. "What do you want?"  
  
"What do you mean?"  
  
"I don't know. Oh, nothing." She turned and when inside. Maybe she was just imagining things. But the look in his eyes when he'd asked her what would keep her from moving… and so many other unguarded moments when he pulled away at the crucial moment.  
  
Mark dropped his shoes outside the door and brushed the sand off his feet. What was he doing? Playing with fire and about to get burned. What do you want? Part of him wished he could switch his character and kiss her impulsively. The character on his other shoulder insisted he keep his distance incase he fall again. And somewhere in the middle he realised he needed to tell her the truth. How and when, he wasn't sure, but he needed to tell her the truth.

* * *

"Are you awake?" Mark whispered as his head sunk into the pillow.  
  
Susan laughed a little.  
  
"What?"  
  
"You sound like Chloe – we used to share a room and we'd always ask 'are you awake?' to see if the other was awake, and…" she realised it wasn't really funny, "Never mind."  
  
He laughed at her. He wouldn't tell her tonight. No matter what response he got he wanted to do this properly. "Good night." He rolled over and shut his eyes, resolving to sleep. 


	4. this love

Theme Song: This Love (Maroon Five)

* * *

Susan wasn't in bed when he woke up. He found her sitting on the steps outside, watching the sunrise. "Good morning."  
  
She turned, surprised at his voice in the silence. "Oh, hey." She smiled and turned back to the sunrise. It was half over but the sea looked like molten gold and copper sprinkled with sapphires and emeralds and diamonds.  
  
Mark sat beside her. "Doesn't get much better than this." He sighed.  
  
"Yeah." She whispered, smiling and turning to him.  
  
He smiled back, letting his eyes linger in hers just a little too long.  
  
She didn't mind, but he didn't know that.

* * *

She felt stunning. They'd been up and down a volcano, or most of one, that morning, then swum, sunbathed and swum some more. Her skin was tingling with too much sun and a hot shower. Her hair was looking blonder than normal and bouncing in the dry heat. It was eight o'clock at night and she was wide-awake. She wanted to dance without inhibition, drink more than she should and dance with even less inhibition. And she'd dressed for it when she suggested the idea to Mark. How could he turn her down?  
  
He was dancing with her but he felt like a spectator. And not just because he'd drunk less. He had wanted to tell her tonight. But he wouldn't tell her while she was drunk. And it might slip out if he was. So he was trying to slip into that uninhibited daze that strobe lights and alcohol enable. But without nearly enough alcohol.  
  
She had her arms above her head and her eyes shut. She opened her eyes and smiled at him, still jumping and swinging her hips smoothly side to side. She could kiss him. It would be that simple. If he threw her off she'd apologise and pretend she was drunker. If he didn't…  
  
No. It wasn't worth it. They had this incredible friendship. It had the potential to be so much more, but it was certainly not going to start with a drink-induced fling. She wasn't that drunk. She knew she couldn't risk him on indulging her lonely adoration.  
  
She shut her eyes and fell back into the music, aware of every time he touched her as they were pushed together by the throng of dancers in the dizzying lights.

* * *

She stumbled only a few feet from the club. Mark had his arm around her in a fraction of a second. She was laughing but he only smiled. She still took his breath away, though she smelt of alcohol and smoke, her hair being creative all on it's own. The way her dress clung to the heat of her body and the sound of her laugh made up for anything.  
  
She got her balance back and pushed herself away from him. It was too tempting. She'd walk on her own.  
  
And she did. She got to their room without much damage. Mark reached out to her a couple more times but soon took the hint. Either he repulsed her or she was trying to convince him that she wasn't that drunk. He didn't want to think about it. He just wanted her to sleep it off and sober up so he could get three frustrating little words out of his system. And then good riddance. He sighed and got a look that asked 'what?'  
  
She grabbed the banister, losing her balance on the steps.  
  
He reached out without a thought. It was the most natural thing in the world for him to try to save her. But he didn't quell the impulse this time. They were only meters from her bed. So he slipped his arm around her waist and didn't let go only to be surprised that she didn't struggle at all. She let her head rest on his shoulder and leant into him, stepping carefully through the door way and sitting heavily on her bed.  
  
He let her go and went to the kitchenette. When he came back with a tall glass of cool water she had awkwardly pulled the blankets away underneath her but hadn't the energy to get under them. She let strappy sandals drop to the floor.  
  
"Here, drink this." He sat on his bed and passed her the drink, letting her pull herself up to drink it. She would have taken his help but he was getting tired of being pushed away and she wasn't in any danger now so he didn't feel the need to try. He was so tired. Tired of pretending, mostly.  
  
She emptied the glass and forced herself to get into bed.  
  
He wanted her to say something. Anything. But she didn't.  
  
Fortunately he was too tired to watch her sleep, wishing she'd love him even a fraction of the way he did her. 


	5. someone like you

Theme song: Someone Like You (Van Morrison)  
  
Susan knew she should feel worse. Good thing Mark gave her that glass of water, she thought, forcing her eyes opened. He wasn't in his bed. She then saw him outside. He was coming in so she shut her eyes again, not wanting to be known to be awake, for not particular reason. She could hear Mark breathing heavily and peaked through her eyelashes. He'd clearly been running. He went to the bathroom and she went back to sleep.  
  
She was woken by a tray being put down beside her on the bed. She opened her eyes, surprised to find a full bowl of tropical fruit, cinnamon and sugar on a thin piece of rye toast and a tall glass of orange juice. "Coffee's coming." Mark went back to the kitchen.  
  
"Mark, this is amazing." She sat up, picking a strawberry from the bowl and popping it into her mouth.  
  
"How are you feeling?"  
  
"Oh, alright. Considering." She yawned and got out of bed. First thing: toilet. Then breakfast.  
  
"Where's yours?" she returned to her bed and sat cross-legged in front of the tray.  
  
"I was hungry. You were sleeping." He stole a grape from her bowl and sat on the side of her bed.  
  
"Oh, help yourself. I'll never eat all this anyway."  
  
"I know you better than that Suz." He got up, hearing the jug had boiled.  
  
"No, honestly, it's the side affects of a hangover."  
  
"Should I keep my voice down and pull the curtains?" he handed her a mug of coffee and sat on the end of her bed with his.  
  
"No, it's not that bad." She yawned again. "This looks fantastic." She started on the toast. "I'm sure I don't deserve this."  
  
"No, you're quite entertaining drunk."  
  
"I know you better than that Mark." She met his eyes. "You weren't entertained. I wasn't that drunk – I could still see you and hear you and I remember most of it very clearly."  
  
He laughed, "Don't worry about it?"  
  
She ignored him. "I'm just trying to thank you for treating me like a princess when I behave like a spoilt child."  
  
He rolled his eyes, "Okay, you're welcome."  
  
"And I think, for my punishment, we can do whatever you want today."  
  
"Well, I can't turn that down. There is one thing I've always wanted to try."  
  
"Go on."  
  
"Well, I mean you don't have to come, but I would love to go diving."  
  
"As in coral reef, sharks, oxygen tanks, all that?"  
  
"That's the one. But thanks for the shark reference."  
  
She laughed, once again frustrated at how adorable he managed to be in the most unlikely ways. It was disarming. One moment she thought she was doing so well at keeping up platonic distance, and the next… "Diving it is." What was she getting herself into?  
  
"I'll go ask for some details at the office while you finish your breakfast." He took off excitedly.  
  
She laughed at him and finished her coffee. He was so good to her… damn it. And sometimes she was SO sure he wanted her. All those unguarded moments when he stared too long, or said too much, or gave too much. He was so generous with himself – he just kept looking after her and putting that little extra effort into everything. Jenn had been a fool.  
  
"This is insane." Susan leant back off the boat.  
  
"You'll be fine." Mark shouted from the water, though he'd been almost as nervous only minutes earlier.  
  
"Any time." The instructor smiled at her.  
  
"Yeah, yeah." She pushed herself off.  
  
Mark swam toward her and she came up gasping, "It's freezing."  
  
"Not it's not." He splashed his hand into the water between them.  
  
"Oh no, we're not doing that again." She laughed, kicking her legs furiously to keep afloat. He was doing the same and they kept brushing against hers, so soft and warm in the cool water.  
  
The instructor joined them and they put their masks on, following him down into the clear water.  
  
"Okay, highlight so far?" Mark kicked his feet as he walked in the shallows, spraying water ahead of them.  
  
"Um," Susan couldn't stop smiling, this was ridiculous, "Well, diving was amazing, but I'm still going to say the treasure hunt – the imaginary version where we find treasure."  
  
"So guess what we're doing tomorrow." He laughed.  
  
"How about you?"  
  
He shook his head, "No idea."  
  
"Well you've got three more days to find one."  
  
"There's too many already. The view from the mountain was pretty good. I can't wait to see the photos."  
  
"Yeah, that's cause you took them. Of me I might add."  
  
"Oh, I know I should have asked," he teased, "But where's the fun in that."  
  
She kicked water at him and he just laughed at her, "See, even this is pretty good. I think the highlight of my holiday is the company." He was working up to telling her but he wasn't ready yet. He'd be braver in the dark. Maybe after dinner. It was late afternoon but the sun was still warm on their faces.  
  
"I'm not used to this." She shook her head. "I wasn't the best company last night and if I remember correctly I managed to be a wet rag the night before as well. You're the one who deserves that compliment."  
  
Love is blind, he thought, and he was close to saying it. Getting it over with.  
  
"I'd prefer the ugly truth to meaningless flattery." She didn't realize how harsh she sounded until the words were said and gone.  
  
"I meant it," he said quietly, not looking at her.  
  
"I know, I'm just…" she sighed and stopped walking, hoping he would too.  
  
He turned around a few steps later, when he was ready to meet her eyes.  
  
She shook her head, "You're amazing, you know that?"  
  
He swallowed, holding her eyes bravely.  
  
"You deserve friends as incredible and selfless as you are."  
  
"You've had a tough week."  
  
"I'm in Maui."  
  
"Yeah, but, I mean with trying to decide about Phoenix. I'm hardly going to expect you to be unaffected. It's okay to react the way you do."  
  
She knew she didn't deserve it but she didn't want to argue. She wanted to kiss him. She smiled and shook her head in disbelief, stepping forward to thank him with a hug.  
  
He let her but hardly moved.  
  
She stepped back a little awkwardly and smiled at him to hide the tension.  
  
"I love you." He whispered, his eyes vulnerable and desperate and adoring her.  
  
Her mouth opened slightly in surprise.  
  
"I know you probably don't I just… I mean if you're thinking of leaving then you might as well know."  
  
"Mark." She shook her head, "I'm not leaving."  
  
"When did you…?"  
  
"Now." She held his eyes with anticipation. "I love you. I'm not going anywhere."  
  
He kissed her with a passion she wasn't prepared for. But she caught on, pulling her body closer with his eager cooperation.  
  
When they stopped he just looked at her stunned. She was smiling a smile he knew so well but it was brimming with uncommon emotion. "I thought you didn't want me," She whispered in awe.  
  
"Are you kidding? How could I not want you? I have loved you… you have been my dearest friend." His eyes were brimming with tears.  
  
She cupped his face with her hands and then pulled him into a tight embrace, afraid to let go.  
  
"I've barely been able to speak a sentence without telling you all week."  
  
"Why didn't you?" she laughed through her own tears, pulling back only enough to see his face.  
  
"Because I couldn't believe you wanted me."  
  
"I've never wanted anyone more." She kissed him desperately.  
  
He picked her up, spinning her around, their lips not parting till her feet reached the ground. She couldn't help but laugh. "Oh, I love you." She took his hand, kissing his palm cheekily.  
  
He laughed, cause a smile simply wouldn't cut it, and pulled her to his side, kissing her hair as they continued their walk along the beach.  
  
Susan pulled him close, her arm around his waist, her head resting in his shoulder. "You know, today has been the best day. I watched the sun rise with you and now it's setting and it's only better."  
  
"Today will be hard to beat."  
  
"No point trying really. I've found my meridian." She turned her head to kiss him and they stopped walking. "I've wanted to do that for so long." She confessed.  
  
"I was so afraid to tell you. And then these past few days… I was so close, so many times."  
  
"You kept pulling back and I tried so hard to keep my distance so it wouldn't be harder to say goodbye if I had to."  
  
"Wouldn't have made any difference to me. How could I say goodbye to you?" he ran his fingers back through her hair and kissed her forehead.  
  
"I found a reason to stay so you don't have to – so I don't have to – I couldn't bear a goodbye to you. Everyone else, I'd survive, but you… you are my best friend, my confidante. I don't know what I'd ever do without you."  
  
"Good." He kissed her again.  
  
Eventually he pulled away, "I think we should get dinner." He grinned cheekily.  
  
She laughed. She'd been ready to take him home to bed. But he was right. They had plenty of time. No hurry.  
  
Not that she noticed what she ate for dinner. And she didn't order desert, or coffee.  
  
"Dance with me." He slipped his foot between hers as they finished eating.  
  
She stood up wordlessly and took his hand. The band were playing 'Moondance' as Mark pulled her lightly closer, stepping back and forth, side to side.  
  
This was intoxicating. And definitely an improvement on last night's version. She let herself fall into the rhythm of the music and the enticing touch of his body against hers.  
  
Mark sang along, barely audibly, just above her ear. She liked that.  
  
"Mark."  
  
He pulled back to see her, an irrepressible, adoring smile gracing his lips.  
  
"Let's go."  
  
He couldn't speak. He nodded and let her go so she could get her bag from their table while he paid the bill. 


	6. i can't stop this feeling

Theme Song: I Can't Stop This feeling (Vonda Sheppard)

* * *

She was sleeping against his side, her head nestled into the pillow above his shoulder, one leg resting between his, one hand protectively over his heart. He smiled and let his eyes shut again. If he was dreaming he wanted to stay that way. But he couldn't resist and opened his eyes again, watching her in awe. Her body rose and fell with each breath above the thin covers gathered over their waists.  
  
"Good morning." She whispered, kissing his neck beneath his ear, cause it was the closest thing to her lips.  
  
He turned his head to see her, "Good morning," his kiss lingered.  
  
"Very." She grinned. "Can I wake up like this everyday?" she shut her eyes and nestled closer to him.  
  
"Yes." His voice almost gave way as he spoke into her hair, pulling her on top of him.  
  
"Good." She drifted back to sleep.  
  
He smiled, surprised at the emotion welling in the back of his throat.

* * *

When she woke he was sleeping but his arms were still wrapped tightly around her. She kissed a trail from his chest, where her head lay to his lips. He was awake by the time she got there. It was bright outside and half the day was gone. But if it weren't for audible hunger pains they would have laid there all day.  
  
"You're stunning in the morning." He turned on his side as she rolled off him. "I've wanted to tell you all week."  
  
She was grinning and speechless, kissing him again and again. "I'll be right back." She slipped out of his arms and off the bed, taking the covers with her, holding them around her shoulders like a cape.  
  
"Hey!" he grabbed the covers and pulled her back with them. She laughed and let them go, disappearing into the bathroom. He pulled on his shorts and looked around their room. It was a mess, he laughed. He lay back in bed, the covers carelessly bunched to one side.  
  
She reappeared in his robe and turned on the electric jug before sitting beside him on the bed. "Good morning." She smiled.  
  
He sat up before replying with a lingering kiss and slipping his hands around her waist.  
  
"You know they're all going to say 'I told you so' back home?" she couldn't stop smiling.  
  
"They can say what they like. And they usually do." He caressed her face adoringly and pulled her back into bed.

* * *

"You know, I can think of one good way that I won't freak out tomorrow." She put her book back on her lap. They'd moved the cane sofa from their room out the front door onto the small deck. Mark had his feet up on the banister and his arm along the back. Susan was leaning against the armrest, her legs resting on his lap.  
  
"What's that?" he was playing with ice cubes from the bottom of his orange juice and dropped one on her leg.  
  
She gasped.  
  
"Oh, sorry." He grabbed it laughing and put it back in his glass.  
  
"Mark, that's gross." She laughed, "You're going to eat that aren't you?"  
  
"Yup." He kissed the wet trail on her leg that was already warm. "It's all the same to me.  
  
She shook her head, smiling.  
  
"So what's your plan for tomorrow?" he turned to her.  
  
"Oh, well it's simple really. We could just not leave. Start up a private practice here and live happily ever after, or something."  
  
He smiled at her adoringly. "Appealing."  
  
"Or you could just kiss me every time I freak out. Keep me busy." She grinned wickedly.  
  
"I think I can handle that. Wait, how long is the flight?"  
  
She slapped him playfully with her book. She'd read all of three pages in the past hour.  
  
"I'm kidding." He defended himself, still laughing. 


	7. god only knows

Theme song: God Only Knows (Beach Boys) - yeah, i used it before, but it really is perfect...

* * *

"We're standing on solid ground." Mark announced, hoping to calm Susan's breathing.  
  
"Yeah, yeah. Give me a minute." She kept walking, looking straight ahead. "I'm fine." She assured him as he took her hand. "I'm getting better right?"  
  
"Yup. That was definitely better than Chicago to Phoenix. But then I couldn't do this." He kissed her jaw, missing her cheek quite nicely.  
  
She laughed and turned to him for a proper one, only breaking the connection for a yawn.  
  
"I should take you home."  
  
"Oh is that so?" Susan raised her eyebrows playfully  
  
"'tis." He led the way to baggage claim.

* * *

"So… how was it?" Carol repeated the question she'd asked earlier. But now they were alone in the lounge and she hoped for a more appeasing answer.  
  
"It was great." Susan grinned. "Notice the tan?"  
  
"Yeah, so how did it go with Mark?" Carol gave up playing subtle.  
  
"It was great." She grinned innocently, not giving anything away.  
  
Carol rolled her eyes and turned to leave, "Just tell me when you set a date." She yelled back.  
  
"Well…?" Carol sidled up beside Doug at admittance.  
  
"Either nothing really happened or they got tight lips where they got that tan." He turned to her.  
  
"Something happened." Carol looked toward the lounge door, trying to figure out a way to disclose the juicy story, just as Mark went inside. "Hey." She grabbed Doug's attention and pointed toward the door as it swung shut.

* * *

"Doug's going to have a coronary if I don't fess up soon." Mark kissed her lightly by way of greeting. But Susan didn't let him get away that lightly. "What was that for?" Mark didn't really mind at all.  
  
"Oh, nothing. I missed you last night, that's all."  
  
"Shifts happen. You know where I'd rather be. You off tonight?"  
  
She shook her head. "I think we're opposite all week."  
  
Mark sighed. "I'll quit." He kissed her again.  
  
She welcomed the kiss, laughing a bit and pulling him into an embrace. She didn't let go.  
  
"You okay?" Mark said  
  
"Oh, yeah." She let go. "I should get back to work."  
  
"Oh, probably."  
  
Neither made any move to leave.  
  
She smiled at him and let it fade to seriousness. "We're crazy right now but… Well you know what this place is like and this… this amazing thing we have… it won't stay like this. I mean, that's not a bad thing it's just… I dunno, you see so many relationships go sour around here and I just don't want to…"  
  
Mark nodded, "Yeah, I know."

* * *

"Well, we could catch them at it. Then we'd know." Doug suggested, half joking, half serious.  
  
Carol laughed, assuming he was joking. But then it faded – that would work. She met his eyes cheekily.  
  
Doug lifted his hands and made a pretend gun, ducking down behind admittance and pulling her down beside him.  
  
"They can't see us." She laughed and stood up, walking confidently toward the lounge.  
  
Doug ran to catch up and they waited outside, trying to hear what was going on inside. "I can't hear anything." Doug whispered.  
  
"Then they can't hear you so you don't have to whisper." Carol grinned waiting for him to push open the door and reveal… whatever?  
  
"Ladies first." He pulled out a delightfully clooney-esque smile. Mmm.  
  
Carol hesitated for a moment then pushed the door open.

* * *

Mark and Susan turned to the opening door, expecting a call to trauma.  
  
"You okay?" Carol asked – it almost passed. But Doug's 'you getting dirty?' look totally blew it.  
  
Susan rolled her eyes. Mark just glared at them as they backed out the door apologizing.  
  
"Well?" Malik asked the retreating figures.  
  
"Nothing." They shrugged and went back to work.  
  
Susan laughed but Mark was still thinking about what she'd said. He took her hands. "I don't want this to fade – I mean, I know some of it will, but…" he exhaled. "Not the important stuff."  
  
She nodded in agreement, not sure if her fears had been allayed.  
  
"I'll always love you."  
  
She smiled.  
  
"I know that doesn't help much but…"  
  
"No, it does. That's the most important thing right? I'm just being silly."  
  
"No you're not. You're right. Everyone gets sucked into this place – it demands to be your top priority."  
  
She thought for a minute. "We just won't let that happen." She said it like it was that simple but she wasn't convinced and she knew he could tell. She shrugged, "I'm just… I guess I'm scared that I'll mess it up or…"  
  
"So am I." He confessed. He reached out, touching her face so she'd meet his eyes. "But there's never any assurance about anything. I only know that I don't want this to end. Ever. I mean, I can't stand just a night or two without you so how the hell would I ever survive… We'll make it work."  
  
"Yeah. And in the meantime, I'll bribe someone to take my shift tonight."  
  
"Fake sick?"  
  
"You're quite the rebel when you want to be."  
  
"Na, I'm all talk." He pulled her into an embrace.  
  
"Sorry for bringing all that up here – I mean it's hardly a ten-minute break conversation." She squeezed him tight, trying to laugh it off.  
  
"I love you." He silenced her, "So stop apologizing for nothing."  
  
She laughed and reluctantly stepped back. "Now I really have to get back to work."  
  
"Yeah, I wonder what Doug and Carol thought they saw."  
  
"Oh, I don't care. I want to yell it from roof tops or something ridiculous." She laughed at herself. "But we would miss out on all the fun of being the hot topic of conversation."  



End file.
